Merge: Premarital Mentoring
Healthy marriages begin long before the wedding bells ring.
We believe that strong, healthy marriages begin long before the wedding bells ring. To establish a marriage that stands the test of time and begins on the right foot, we strongly encourage all engaged couples to participate in our premarital mentoring class, Merge.
Merge is tailor-made for engaged couples seeking wisdom and guidance about marriage in a safe, enjoyable, and authentic setting. Our primary goal is to help you create a marriage deeply rooted in faith, one that you'll cherish for a lifetime.
During Merge, couples are guided by experienced married mentors through the curriculum. Topics covered include effective communication, conflict resolution, financial planning, handling in-law dynamics, and more. It's an opportunity for couples to address common questions and challenges from a biblical perspective.
Jill and Caleb Stewart got married on March 26, 2023, and Jim and Lynne Mosman were their Merge leaders. Read this interview to hear how Merge enriched both Caleb and Jill's engagement and early parts of marriage and Jim and Lynne's marriage almost 40 years later as leaders.
Jill and Caleb Stewart
Why did you choose to take Merge?
We decided to invest time in taking the Merge class to create a strong foundation for our marriage. We wanted to look at all the hard conversations before they came up in our marriage.
What did you find helpful about the class?
We found the homework helpful throughout the weeks leading up to our wedding. The weekly tasks and questions caused us to improve our communication and helped us facilitate the conversations we needed before marriage.
Tell us about your leaders.
Our leaders, Jim and Lynn Mosman, were terrific! They brought such a kind, gentle, and wise nature to the table. We felt comfortable asking any questions and hearing their guidance. Jim and Lynn were highly intentional during our class and even today! We are so thankful for the role they still serve in our marriage.
What advice would you give an engaged couple?
We want any couple to know before getting married that being scared is okay. Marriage is scary. But scary is worth facing to recreate the love that Christ has for His church. Merge helped us see that our common goal in this scary decision was to glorify our Father, and we could do that together as one. It’s also been a lot of fun!
Jim and Lynne Mosman
Jim: I have been married to my beautiful bride for the last 40 years. She has made me a better man, husband, father, and server of Christ our Lord. I have had a multitude of positions that forced us to move many times. Lynne has been our rock and, each time, has made our house our home. Maybe a little cliché but the words are accurate. We have two beautiful daughters who have done extremely well choosing their mates in life. We are also blessed to have a precious baby granddaughter and a grandson on the way. And I can’t forget the guard of the house, our lovable dog Woodford.
Why do you choose to invest your time by serving in Merge?
Lynne: When we first started serving in Merge, one daughter had just married, and our other daughter was engaged, so it was the perfect time in our lives to better understand what the young couples might be feeling and going through. … The couples take a confidential Couples Assessment prior to class that identifies strengths and weaknesses in their current relationship. Jim and I feel a heavy responsibility to be sure we highlight curriculum notes and Scripture that will specifically benefit any areas of weakness identified. But what really fills our hearts is when the couples begin feeling comfortable together and share with each other during discussion time. We hope, in this small way, we are helping couples understand the importance community will be to their marriage.
Jim: Marriage IS work, but also CAN work. It’s fun to engage with couples as they are walking toward life as a married couple, learning about each other and providing some tools to help them along the way.
What do you hope couples get out of their time with you during Merge?
Hopefully, a better understanding not only of God’s desire for marriage, but how they see themselves fit together- being one with each other and one with God. We hope the couples have some fun and learn even more about one another than they already know. And we hope they leave knowing marriage is God’s design. Just as God has made a covenant with us and keeps it in spite of all that we do, their upcoming wedding vows are meant to be permanent, too. We hope they know they have a home at NMC full of caring people with community, ministries, and care groups that will help them through all future stages of their marriages.
How does serving in Merge help your own marriage?
Lynne: There hasn’t yet been a session when Jim and I haven’t reflected upon something that was taught or something that was said, and it sparked a conversation between us. Sometimes, we say, “I’m thankful we do a good job in our own marriage with that,” and other times, we say, “WOW! We could take this course even after nearly 40 years and still learn a lot to better our marriage!”
What’s one practice or piece of advice you’d offer after 40 years of marriage?
Lynne: Know there will be unimaginable joys and equally unexpected difficulties. Give thanks through both because you will grow stronger in faith and yourselves, which will help you face the next peak or valley even better together.
Jim: You can’t over-communicate, talk through and about everything, and be intentional.